Being A Desi Abroad- PART1

It's been a while since I wrote ! I know, was just going through a phase of writer's block :P 

But then these two cracked me up and got me back on track :)

This is nothing like my usual posts, no metaphors no fictions. My life has been a roller coaster ride for quite a few months now.

 

Ever since I entered the second year of my bachelor's I knew it wasn't going to be enough for me I wanted to be greedy to learn more, and I planned my MS. 

This blog is about my own experiences of moving from a bustling, all too familiar life in Pune to a country I had only seen in movies and sitcoms. Maybe there are a few tips hidden along the way for anyone who is thinking of the move, never having been to the US before.

I had finished all my applications, and was waiting for the results and enjoying the few months, I had left with my family, till the pandemic hit us. The entire uncertainty of the situation put me off completely. Though I got admits from all schools I really wanted to get in, I was unsure whether I'll be able to fly and achieve my dream, I have been planning for so long. With every day of the lockdown , my anxiety grew , I knew I could just post pone my plans defer my admit, but I didn't feel like doing it. 2020 was supposed to be my year! and it had to work , I wanted to make it work, I gathered all the little hope I had left and applied for emergency visa appointment. Usually it takes 48hrs for the embassy to  approve the emergency request ,but with the embassy closed I did not hear from them even after waiting for two weeks long. 

My university was going to start on 24th August . When August started, the chances of flying seemed even more bleak, and I started to give up on my dream. My gut kept telling me I am going this fall, but the more practical side of me just decided to give up and defer my admission. And as soon as I did I received a mail from the embassy stating my emergency was approved. Within two days I gathered all my documents went for my visa interview and got it approved. I had my visa in hand , but I had just one week to pack my stuff and leave. 

 And then came the essentials for a starter grihasti in the new land – the all too necessary pressure cooker, a few pots and pans, daal,chaawal, spices and enough ready to eat food, mom prepared to sustain me until I was able to foray into a Walmart for fresh hunt!

And I was quite attentive to veteran travelers and their invaluable tips. Get a haircut before you leave. It costs like $30 bucks for a decent one! Carry extra spices unless you want to pay $8  for Garam Masala!  And whatever happens, always take good care of your teeth. Unless you want to sell your kidney to get an implant!

Armed with tips and warned by virtually everyone about the deadly virus and all the measures to take, I bid goodbye to everyone, teary eyed and feeling nervous for what the future held.

THE MOVE:

They had me at “Hello”

The flight was long but in between my short naps and constant sanitizing my hands , making sure my mask and shield were on, the time passed quickly.  

 After 1 stop and a day of traveling, I was silently applauding myself for my already well developed worldliness. I knew all the pleasantries while greeting the flight attendant, the Immigration Officer and the TSA agents. And when they did a palat kar smile, I felt I was already accepted into their tribe!

So when I moved on campus, I began my search for a sense of belonging, striking up conversations with anyone, I was around with for more than 2 minutes. In the next week or so, I realized that Americans are equal opportunity greeters. Unlike us Indians who are quite selective about our adoration when it comes to strangers on the streets, Americans generally smile and nod to anyone. Now that barely made me feel special and did shatter my “maybe I am going to get accepted by a group of American F.R.I.E.N.D.S and we will have coffee at Central Perk together” dreams! (which did happen eventually :P)

But nevertheless, for me, with my years of experience of dealing with and being able to read Indians, it was hard to interpret the friendliness displayed by another culture. Took me a while to realize that they were just being polite. They didn’t know who I was, but hoped whatever one was going on with me, that day, was good!

When I made friends here, with the locals, I noticed something , We aren't used to thanking everyone for every small thing. I realized, in India we develop bonds easily with our friends and closed ones and start taking them for granted, eventually we stop expressing our gratitude for the small things they do. Whereas, here my friends would thank me every now and then for every small thing I did.

But I have surely realized, I need to express gratitude and appreciate my parents more, for they are the reason I am living my dream today.

Groom city

American cities seem like they just walked out of a Jawed Habib haircut. Not the discounted version, but the really expensive one. Every lawn is trimmed, every tree is cut to a uniform size and based on hear-say accounts, every neighborhood society has guidelines for what the color of your house, kinds of plants in your garden or even the mailbox in your front lawn can look like. 

Right of way?

May I remind you that I am from Pune? You know, where cars arrange neck to neck like Lego pieces? So when I saw people driving a few feet away from each other, following traffic rules while changing lanes and even stopping at a “Stop” sign with literally no one on the streets, I realized how much protocols are hard wired in Americans. That and the fact that there is a police patrol car probably hiding behind the bushes.

In India, each city road has a unique character. In Mumbai, you have to meander through the narrow roads and in between the rickshaws that prakat out of nowhere. In Bangalore, you can literally cook and have a picnic while at a traffic stop. And in Pune, you can get a parallel education in some of the choicest words of “endearment”! And we don’t really know what a “right of way” is.

Funny story is that the second day, upon my arrival on campus, I went out for a walk and heard a voice speaking to me at the corner of the street I was about to cross – Walk sign is on. Please cross the street carefully. I did a double take wondering if my Mom had really arranged for someone to watch over me!

It took me a while though to adjust to right hand driving. To remember to walk on the right side of the road , I would get so confused about which side the bus was coming, or while crossing to look on the left and not the right.

NOT FOLLOWING THE QUEEN!

It snowed in August!!!!!! That never happens, but it was also an year of things that never happen! So it wasn't that surprising , for me it was very exciting. The Accuweather being pretty accurate, we knew it was going to snow and were all prepared with my new boots and new coat. And the temperature dropped when I asked what temperature it was someone replied its 28 degree! I looked outside and it was snowing ! Seeing the shocked and surprised expressions my friend replied FAHRENHEITE!!

Americans do not follow the standard DD-MM-Y system, in fact I have come to realize Americans do not follow anything the Britishers follow. My friend here jokes, "when we rebelled against the British rule, we rebelled so hard , we started driving on the other side of the road and changed everything!" .

My move to the US may has been a happy turning point, in my career, but not a day has passed without me longing for the unmanicured landscape of India. In the US, people hold the doors open for you, they say excuse me a lot, they make eye contact when they speak and are usually intrigued by your exotic background.

Yes, It is interesting to experience a new place a new culture, and I have been lucky to meet people from a diverse background.

However with all its conveniences, steadfast traffic rules and polite gestures , makes me aware of the stark differences between the two countries, constantly reminding me of how much I am not at home. I miss the food, especially maa ke haath ka food, the traffic, the weird coloured houses, the myriad colours in fashion, the occasional honking and the over passionate drivers yelling at each other. 

Hopefully eventually these things will grow on me but till then I have a countdown set for next visit to India, and every time I feel low I look at it and convince myself Just 365 days more :)